I can’t go in.

I was thinking the other day about my first encounter with a Tabernacle. We had arrived in Tel Aviv Israel. We were taken to Emmaus Way where they had a Tabernacle which was a set apart room, just for worship and meeting with/doing business with God.
I was familiar with the concept as I had been in Europe seeking out ‘Thin places’. Places where hundreds or even more than a thousand of years of prayer had been pursued, as a result it was said God seemed ‘closer’ there. But here I was in Tel Aviv Israel, where it was actually asked of me (as someone staying at the centre) to spend a minimum of 4 hrs per day with God. I just couldn’t go in.

I was taking walking into His presence very seriously but also my mind was blocking me, “How can they say God is closer in there than anywhere else? Who are they anyway? What is in there anyway?” and the biggie… “What if God says something to me that I don’t like or asks me to do something that I don’t want to do?” Eventually I got over ‘myself’. Ok lets be honest! I had to humble myself, get over my pride, stop looking at the people and look for God. Then I was able to enter into a lovely room thick with the presence of God, hear His voice and to allow Him to minister very very deeply to me. I watched Him not people, minister to me and others in profound and individual ways. His words always spot on.  His heart always healing and restoring.

I believe my fear was because I was yet to understand that God is good and that He can be trusted. I didn’t trust God and I thought He could hurt me or let me down. God always operates within the fruit of His Spirit. This is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, goodness and self control. These are the fruits of the Spirit of God,  what He is like.

My experience tells me now that it is always a wonderful thing to be in the presence of God. Sin WILL be exposed. We will realise our filthiness and inadequacy before Him, yet if we are humble and ask, He will ALWAYS have kind answers for us and a way forward. Thank you God I love you so much and just long for those moments of your presence, your touch and your loving healing.

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